Oddities

My SAD is getting a bit better the past couple weeks. I think, despite the inherent frustrations involved, going to cons for the past 2 weekends has helped. Human interaction, even when it feels like the last thing I want and I have to force myself (usually unsuccessfully, but lately fairly successfully) to go do it, usually does help.
Anxiety levels are still pretty high.

I have also come to some odd conclusions about my life. I don’t know where they will lead. I don’t yet even know if they make sense. I need to discuss them first, but I don’t want to have that conversation. I do know something needs to change or I’ll go crazy.

My Evil Master Plan

These are not in step by step order yet, this is more of a rough draft solo brainstorming session. As such, these are pretty verbose and kinda awkward.

1. Stop being a Wage Slave
This doesn’t mean quit your job, it just means having the freedom to stop if you want to.
I consider myself very fortunate in that I genuinely enjoy my job. It is interesting, and it has a good balance of challenge and routine. I understand that my job will grow and progress and change form over the years, but I’d like to get to a point where if I somehow end up in a position I hate, I will have the resources available to stop doing it. I’d like to develop multiple streams of income, as well as focus on my (awesome) main molecular/micro biology career. No golden handcuffs for me!

2. Be invited to conventions to speak as a guest
Not a very universal goal, but I’d love to do it. I love speaking, and I love instructing on topics that I know about. I don’t have a lot of detail on this one (for example, the reason anyone would invite me as a guest *cough*), but it’s on my list because I want it to be.

which brings me to

3. Become Internet Famous
Again, I’m not entirely sure what for. I’m not an artist, and I’m no longer a business owner. I’m a blogger, and while that’s picking up steam, I don’t know if it’s what I want to be known for. It would be nice, yes, but is there something else that I’m better at maybe?
Even though I don’t know what I’ll magically be famous for, I have an idea of the level I’d like to achieve. I’d like to aim for somewhere in between NeonDragon and Wil Wheaton (pre-recent TV appearances, just when he was starting to break out of being known as just Wesley Crusher), though probably on the lower end. I certainly don’t want to be Hollywood style popular. A kind of “I’m a geeky person, doin’ my own thing and oh, hey, people like when I do that, and give me some money for the things I create while doing it” would be lovely.

4. Grow (and grow with) Con-G
Con-G is one of the most awesome things I’ve ever done. It’s fun, and it’s freakin’ hard work, and I love it. It brings joy and entertainment to others, it helps out local charities, and yeah, it’s a big ego boost. “I did this” is an amazing feeling.

I want to nurture it and help it grow, and I don’t mean necessarily in terms of attendance. I think the spirit can be maintained, while polishing and refining other parts of it, so that when people hear “Con-G”, they’ll think “the best damn Canadian con outside Anime North”. I don’t actually like that as a target – AN isn’t what I feel we should be comparing to, but I can’t think of anything better off the top of my head.

So thats the EMP rough draft so far. I’d love thoughts an opinions, but you can keep it to yourself if you just think the goals themselves are dumb. My goals don’t have to be your goals, and all that jazz.

Sick

Home sick in bed.

Feel like crap. Sad, cold, painful crap.

Unsafe for me to be in a car, let alone drive one right now. (Now there’s a lovely mental picture for you)

No fever (97 degrees, WTF?).

Josh thinks I’m reacting to my flu shot, but I think it’s too late for that to be happening since I had that done early Friday.

I think it’s something I ate; something that hates me. All I ate yesterday was some bacon and eggs (bought fresh that morning), some Pringles (which I’ve been eating for years) and a bowl of Alpha-Bits (also been eating for years… and also on weekday mornings for the past couple weeks).

I’m curled under the duvet and have the mattress heater cranked up, but I’m still freezing. Also WTF.

I need to feel better soon since I have 130ish samples coming in from the West alone today, plus whatever from Ontario. ie. More than can be done in a day, so I need to get back ASAP.

Blurgh.

Sleep now.

Pray. For. Mojo.