So apparantly TVs can be “too old” to work with a DVD player. Our TV is one such TV.
We only discover this after crawling around on the floor behind the cabinet and trying every which way (like all two) to do the connections. We read the ever-so-helpful manual.

Turns out our TV just sucks. I coulda told you that.

At least the little tv is normal, and works properly.
Only problem is that “wide screen” looks awfully tiny on 13 inches.

*sigh*

Good movie, though.