Tomorrow I have a meeting with a professional organizer.
Hopefully she won’t have a heart attack when she sees my house. ^_~

I know I need help with this. I’m a firm believer in specialization. I work a specialized job to get money, and I can use that money to pay for the specialized services others do. I don’t care about the “satisfaction of a job well done”. Or rather, i guess you could say I don’t care about “the satisfaction of a job attempted”. If I try something, and it fails miserably, I don’t take pride in the failing. if I want a nice lawn/garden, I’d much rather hire a landscaper than try to squeeze in my own attempts at it around work and other commitments. It’s less frustrating for me, and odds are way better of getting the result I want (instead of just stopping when “it’s good enough” because i have no more time or drive).
Especially jobs/services that not only do I not want to do, but suck at them when I do try to do them myself. Organization is one of those things.
I’m a huge packrat, made worse by a few financially rough patches while growing up and after moving out. I can’t stand to throw something out if there’s a chance I could use it in the future. It’s happened a few times where I have tried to “be good” and throw out/donate things I no longer use, but then I turn around and suddenly have need of that item again, so then I have to go spend money on something I already owned less than a month ago. 😛 I hate that. I obviously hate that more than the piles and boxes of “stuff” that I own, since I obviously keep choosing the former over the latter.
So yeah, I recognize my own lack of ability/motivation, and I’m not ashamed to call in the big guns and pay someone else to do it (and teach me how to keep it up once it’s done).

Maybe getting the place cleaned up I’ll stop moping around so much, feeling useless both when I try to make it better, and when I don’t even bother because they have the same result.