My bicycle got stolen.

Out of my own backyard!

Ok, granted it wasn’t locked up. When I took it out of the shed I couldn’t find the keys to the lock, so I just propped it up and adjusted the lock so it looked like it was locked… thought obviously didn’t look enough like it was locked. So my bad there. But it was in the fenced backyard.

It wasn’t that expensive, and it wasn’t that nice, but it was my bike, damn it!

I should probably report it to the police, at least so they can keep tabs on the number of bikes stolen at what locations in town, but I’ll sound like a total moron.

Hi Officer, I want to report my bike stolen.
No, it wasn’t locked.
No, I don’t know exactly when. I haven’t been in my backyard for over a week.
No, I don’t know what kind it was, but it was red.
I don’t even remember exactly how many speeds it had.
No, I don’t have a serial number.
Duuuurrrr.