Two things are coming up fairly shortly.
1. I’m spending a few weeks in Australia this winter (2 months)
2. I’m turning 30 next spring (7 months)

I suddenly realized the other day that not only are there beaches in Australia, but we’re practically staying on one. Beaches mean wearing a bathing suit, and bathing suits mean trying to look good. Especially for your gorram honeymoon – that’s when you’re supposed to be at your sexiest and whatnot.

I’ve skillfully avoided wearing bathings suits for about 3 years (except in a hottub once, but it was dark out and with friends) because I always feel lame ’cause I’m that weird pinkish kind of pale, and puffy.

Anyway, regardless of the bathing suit issue, I really should get fit and eat healthy.
Problem is, I don’t really know how.
Let me rephrase. I know how, but if knowing about something was all it took, I’d practically be Miss Universe.
I certainly don’t know everything, but I do know the basics: eat more vegetables, avoid refined sugars, eat more be-active-in-the-spring/summer foods and fewer fatten-up-for-the-winter foods, eat real food instead of processed food, consume fewer calories than you burn to lose weight, blah blah blah.
I also know, in theory, how the LHC works. That doesn’t mean I could stand in front of it and push the right sequence of buttons to make it work properly.

What I need is a plan. A roadmap. Something that shows me:
1. What foods to eat (and scientifically why, ’cause it’s not nearly as motivating if you don’t know why you’re doing something) and how to prepare them in various ways.
1. a) Ways to introduce more of these foods (ie different veggies) and more ways to eat them so you can actually get used to eating them and maybe grow to like them. I know me, and if something tastes like I dug it out of the lawnmower bag or the compost bin, I’m not going to eat it no matter how many times it promises to make me look like a 19 year old Victoria’s Secret model.

2. What foods to eat less of (and scientifically why) and suggestions for substitutions

3. What exercises to do, along with some sort of plan for fitting them into a person’s busy daily life

4. Not be some fad diet filled to the brim with pseudo-science and fanatical devotion to a single method. I want a life plan to get fit and then maintain my health, not to join a cult. If the science doesn’t check out, I’m not interested, and if I’m not interested it’s not happening.

5. Not cost hundreds of dollars to get set up for Step 1 (I can’t afford to dump everything in my pantry and replace it with organic stuff and build my own greenhouse right this second)

Anyone have any suggested reading? Or suggestions in general?

Short term goal: not look like crap in a bathing suit in Australia
Longer term goal: be pleased with physical self for 30th birthday
Long term goal: Make whatever it took to reach the two previous goal as effortless and integrated into my life as possible so I’ll stick with it instead of going back to frozen pizza because it’s quick and easy

tl;dr HOW I MINE FOR FITNESS??